Lottie’s alarm went off at 06:00 in the morning, she knew it was coming but still it came as a shock to her system. She was already awoken once just before 4 am thinking it was almost time to get up. When she looked to the alarm clock without her glasses she thought it said 05.55, but when the clock downstairs chimed four times she sighed and knew she had a couple of hours more to sleep. Thankfully she did fell back to sleep, and now this 6 am alarm call seriously had her adrenaline pumping. Springer Spaniel Bob was over the moon with this early rise and started jumping around like a 6-month-old silly billy instead of a 10-year-old lazy bum. Downstairs she could hear Jake, the Sprocker Spaniel, bouncing about behind his gate. He was as happy as Bob that she was up early! Jake is always happy, no matter what you throw at him in life. He is a “die hard”. She loved these two boys to the max. And she knew she needed their love even more today.
Today was going to be a day of mixed emotions. It is her dad’s birthday but there would not be a birthday party. Her dad passed away not long ago and Lottie and her mum decided that today was a good day to celebrate his birthday by keeping their promise. The promise they had made when his illness had taken a turn for the worst, knowing he would not get better and knowing the only thing left was waiting for the in inevitable. Their promise to him was to scatter his ashes in the place he loved to be. It was a place full of nature, calm and relaxing and peaceful. It was a beautiful little area where he just could sit in silence and enjoy the stillness and the beauty around him.
Lottie and her mum had made this decision to do this on his birthday as it felt like the right day for it. Over the last view weeks the temperature has gone up and because of this they planned to do this in the early morning, when it was still cool enough to be outside without getting overheated and sun burned. It would have been nice to sleep a little longer, something that is impossible with dogs anyway, but they both did not want to be out when the sun was at its hottest.
Lottie got up, got the dogs out for a walk and made breakfast. She started packing the van with goodies and Jake’s bed. Lottie and her mum had decided they wanted to scatter dad’s ashes in peace. 3 Dogs bouncing about in and out of the water was not going to give them that peace, so the dogs would get a walk before they go and settled to be on their own for a little while. That means Jake needs his bed, as this little “die hard” is also a notorious fighter! At 7.15 am she was ready and messaged her mum she was on her way. It was already 24c, it was going to be another hot day!
When she got to her mum’s she unloaded the van and together they walked their 3 dogs, making sure the pooches could be on their own for a couple of hours. Together they carried all the items in to the van and after making sure there was enough water and the dogs were safe and not able to harm each other they left on their little journey to dad’s final place of rest.
When they got there it was still early, the temperature was a lot cooler and there was a little breeze coming through the trees. It was nice here. Lottie knew why her dad loved this place so much. It was so incredibly peaceful. She loved it for the same reasons.
Lottie parked up the van in the shade, they collected the items from the van and walked down to the waterfront of the lake. They looked around to see if they could find a nice spot to lit some candles without setting the whole area on fire. When they found a nice secluded area they put the candles on the water and lit them. Once the candles where burning they took the urn with the ashes and both stepped into the water. They hold on to the urn and slowly and gently released the ashes into the water. Both of them were silent while they let him go. Slowly they saw the ashes mix with the water and start to go down to the bottom of the lake. It felt good and it felt right. It felt right they were doing this today. And it felt right because they kept their promise to her dad.
She was still a bit amazed about the spot her dad had chosen. He had such a fear for water throughout his life. He was scared to death to be in a bathtub let alone to be in a lake! But this was his wish and she felt good being able to for fill this last wish.
When the ashes were gone out of sight both Lottie and her mum stood there for a little while, silent with their own thoughts, looking around and just feeling the overwhelming peace that this area brought upon them.
After a while they started to gather the goodies and went back to the van.
There was a little restaurant not far from where they were and the plan was to go for a coffee and some cake in there. When they had their coffees, they talked a little bit about dad. Neither of them felt bad or sad. It was just right. Yes, her mum does miss her husband enormously. But she was happy he was out of pain and out of being miserable. He is back with his mum, who he lost when he was only 6 years old just after the war. Lottie felt the same way as her mum. She missed her dad badly, but knowing he was in peace and no one could hurt him anymore and knowing he was in a better place made up for the not being there with them.
After they paid for the coffees they drove back to mum’s place. Lottie stayed for lunch as her mum was making something her dad loved. Duck leg with french fries and applesauce. And it tasted wonderful!
Later that day when Lottie drove home and she was with her own thoughts again, she had a little cry. She felt so bad for her mum, because when Lottie leaves to go home, there is no one for her mum to share the day’s events with. No one who asks you: “did you have a good time”, “was it beautiful” or anything of that kind. Lottie tried her hardest to be there for her mum but she knows she can’t replace her dad. She also knows in due time the pain will mellow and things will run its own way. But till then she will try her best to be there for her mum, either her mum liked it or not…